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Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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But then, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and it’s a bunch of kids playing soccer. They kicked the ball right into a fountain! Water everywhere! I can’t help but laugh. They’re all soaked, but they’re having the time of their lives.

Zsofia Schweger’s paintings depict her Hungarian home frozen in time